Venice Survival Guide #1

Does his name mean “Big”? Like Maximum? No wonder he is so famous…
I don’t know.
And lives in New York…
The maximum Curator. The Ultimum Curator. The Curator Ultimatum…
I don’t know...
I DON'T KNOW Despina!
But you are Spanian!

And so it starts. The Venice talk.

Venice will be swamped with New Yorkers this year and they are competitive, chatty little mother **ckers. You (Berliners!) have to up your game. But do not fret, we in Bpigs are -as always- one step in the other direction.  We asked our super talented Italian designer Andrea Nicolo for help.

Here is a list of casual inanities and vital survival questions for you to spout out, not in English, because –hello- anybody can do that. But in the original Botticelli language.  Study on the plane from Honk Kong, or the U-bahn from Steglitz. If you also manage to throw in a fake British accent somewhere in there, you will have them by the Jeff Koons.

Is that a water taxi?
Questo e' un taxi acquatico?

How do I get out of this island?
Come lascio questa isola?

I am an independent curator
Sono un curatore indipendente

I run a non profit space.
Gestisco uno spazio non-profit

I am not exhibiting, this year, no...
No, quest'anno non espongo

I work for Ai Wei Wei.
Lavoro per Ai Wei Wei

Could you please walk me to the hotel I keep walking in circles.
Puo' portarmi in albergo? Continuo a girare a vuoto

How far is the beach from here?
La spiaggia e' molto lontana?

This pizza tastes like rubber.
Questa pizza fa schifo

The Giardini was really disappointing this year, but I really enjoyed the Arsenale.
I giardini non erano granché, quest'anno. Ma l'Arsenale mi e' piaciuto molto

An Aperol spritz please. And keep them coming.
Un Aperol spritz, per favore. E continui a portarne

Of course I remember…
Certo che mi ricordo…

Where is the Bauer hotel?
Dove si trova l'hotel Bauer?

The drinks are on the gentleman behind me/next to me
i drinks li paga lui

Could you hold my drink while I look for my business card.
Puoi tenermi il drink mentre cerco il mio biglietto da visita?

I own a start up.
Ho una start-up

I am press.
Sono Stampa

I am sorry I don't know who you are.
Mi dispiace, non ho idea di chi tu sia

Could you get us in?
Ci fai entrare?

My name is not on the list but I am here with someone.
Il mio nome non sta sulla lista, ma sono qui con qualcuno

Younger than Jesus.
Sono piu' giovane di Gesu'

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