Venice Survival Guide #1

Does his name mean “Big”? Like Maximum? No wonder he is so famous…
I don’t know.
And lives in New York…
Hm…
The maximum Curator. The Ultimum Curator. The Curator Ultimatum…
I don’t know...
Ultimilianno?
I DON'T KNOW Despina!
But you are Spanian!

And so it starts. The Venice talk.

Venice will be swamped with New Yorkers this year and they are competitive, chatty little mother **ckers. You (Berliners!) have to up your game. But do not fret, we in Bpigs are -as always- one step in the other direction.  We asked our super talented Italian designer Andrea Nicolo for help.

Here is a list of casual inanities and vital survival questions for you to spout out, not in English, because –hello- anybody can do that. But in the original Botticelli language.  Study on the plane from Honk Kong, or the U-bahn from Steglitz. If you also manage to throw in a fake British accent somewhere in there, you will have them by the Jeff Koons.


Is that a water taxi?
Questo e' un taxi acquatico?

How do I get out of this island?
Come lascio questa isola?

I am an independent curator
Sono un curatore indipendente

I run a non profit space.
Gestisco uno spazio non-profit

I am not exhibiting, this year, no...
No, quest'anno non espongo

I work for Ai Wei Wei.
Lavoro per Ai Wei Wei

Could you please walk me to the hotel I keep walking in circles.
Puo' portarmi in albergo? Continuo a girare a vuoto

How far is the beach from here?
La spiaggia e' molto lontana?

This pizza tastes like rubber.
Questa pizza fa schifo

The Giardini was really disappointing this year, but I really enjoyed the Arsenale.
I giardini non erano granché, quest'anno. Ma l'Arsenale mi e' piaciuto molto

An Aperol spritz please. And keep them coming.
Un Aperol spritz, per favore. E continui a portarne

Of course I remember…
Certo che mi ricordo…

Where is the Bauer hotel?
Dove si trova l'hotel Bauer?

The drinks are on the gentleman behind me/next to me
i drinks li paga lui

Could you hold my drink while I look for my business card.
Puoi tenermi il drink mentre cerco il mio biglietto da visita?

I own a start up.
Ho una start-up

I am press.
Sono Stampa

I am sorry I don't know who you are.
Mi dispiace, non ho idea di chi tu sia

Could you get us in?
Ci fai entrare?

My name is not on the list but I am here with someone.
Il mio nome non sta sulla lista, ma sono qui con qualcuno

Younger than Jesus.
Sono piu' giovane di Gesu'

Berlin Independents Guide is an artist run communications platform. The exhibition guide comes out every two months and is distributed for free in project spaces, galleries, institutions, and bookstores. Listings are accepted from project spaces, galleries, art institutes and art related venues in Berlin.
For more information and prices have a look here.
info(at)bpigs.com - +49 15779575642 - Postal address: BPIGS at Blogfabrik, Oranienstrasse 185, 10999 Berlin / Respect the environment, please do NOT send printed invitations or posters.