A selection of shows you would have the chance to visit if you were in New York this weekend. Pictures are listed from: Lower East Side towards Chelsea, awesome to weird, and from normal to paranormal. 

LOWER EAST SIDE

Andra Ursuta @ Ramiken Crucible 

Henrik Olesen @ Reena Spaulings

 
this is by the way how the gallery looks from outside, which a.exactly what one would have expected it to look and b. helpful as it is not really on East Broadway but around the corner. Henrik Olesen's work has seen better days. 

a quite stuffy opening where no one was budging one bit - Kent Rogowski @ Jen Bekman 

the New Museum

CHELSEA
Andrea Zittel @ Andrea Rosen Gallery
 

Ryan Foerster at Martos Gallery

Andreas Slominski @ Metro Pictures

this space might look empty- but it actually hosts the sperm of 42 (52? I am forgetting the number) bulls after the white line. The piece is also thus titled and the show is titled Sperm.  

same logic- sperm of one black and one white dude. Men Sperm was "donated" directly in the gallery space- Animal sperm was transported and "injected" (ex-jected=?) with a rather big machine, also on display.

now I am quietly waiting for the catastrophe of my personality to seem beautiful again, and interesting, and modern.-Curated by Tom Burr, @ BORTOLAMI
with Kaucyila Brooke, Jean Cocteau, Dan Graham, Ull Hohn, Hilary Lloyd, Sarah Lucas, Gordon Matta-Clark, Lucy McKenzie, Ken Okiishi, Elizabeth Peyton, Josephine Pryde, Mary Simpson, Dash Snow, J. St. Bernard, Charline von Heyl and Emily Wardill.

Wendy White: Pix Vää @ Leo König

they really do not want to be disturbed in this gallery reception

Renaud Regnery @ Elizabeth Dee

Richard Phillips @Gagosian

"this is what rich people think that is art" sais Helga. (rich people and horny teenagers if I may add)

young collector with his new acquisition

Chuck Close @ Pace Gallery (opening)

the artist

across the street from Pace- 1.000$ a piece. I am guessing cash in hand.